oh entry kali ni dibuat sebab bace artikel2 yg best2 dan bagi tamparan hebat jugak la kt muka neh...huhuh...terfikir pulak kenapa ada sesetengah org tu kadang2 cukup semayang tu bila bulan ramadhan jek sebab puasa kan..konon2 mcm xde aktiviti yg pack laa sgt kan..sebab pagi sahor..mesti terus subuh..then tghari tu sebab x pegi lunch(puasa kan) so dorg fikir ada laa mase nk solat zohor..kalau asar tu sempat laa nk kejar pak imam sebab dah puasa xlarat nk kejar bola kat padang...hmmm...maghrib pulak sempat laaa solatnye sebab bbuka kan..mesti laaa ingt maghrib tu..klu xde waktu bbuke tu macam x ingt ade maghrib agaknye...isyak pulak sebab dah kne ikut parents pegi terawih lagi..huuuu~ oh dunia..ni bukan nk ceramah ke hape..tp mcm nk ingt kan diri sendri jugak laaa..diberi kekuatan iman..betaubat sebelum terlambat..sbb segala amalan kita tu bukan dikira dalam waktu bulan mahupun tahun..tapi jam saat..ok ingt.. SAAT ok..hmmmm...xnk tulis bnyk2 sbb nk baca lg artikel2 yg best..ni sekadar iklan untuk penulis jek...huuuuu~
=) :selamat sahor:
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
LOVEY DOVEY ='(
Hate: Disappointing People
I’ve been an emotional hermit for the past couple of days.I am not the hermit type, especially not with my emotions, but a series of run-ins with friends and colleagues had me questioning a lot of things about myself, and about my decisions. I needed to figure out what I was doing right and what I was doing wrong. And I really needed space to think—without noise—to figure all that out. So into the cave I went.
The recurring themes were:
1.my propensity to overschedule myself
2.my inability to deal with disappointing people (in a healthy way)
Singly, these things are not bad. They are good problems to have, in a way. But coupled together, they are a formula for disaster. Which is why my brain tends to go through cycles of feeling how Pig-Pen looks. I’ve been overly busy since I was in middle school. I do it because I need to, not because I love to. I need to... because if I give myself too much downtime, I over-think everything and fall into depression. My brain doesn’t work in idle. It starts eating me alive. And so I learned (at a young age, even) that doing a lot ultimately makes me happier.
BUT I have a hard time disappointing people. It crushes me, you could say. And when you’re busy you have to disappoint people a lot... scheduling things months in advance and sometimes having to say no to things you wish like hell you could do, but you just can’t. Things have been building and I think I’m finally realizing that one of these things has to give.
My gut tells me that I just have to get better at disappointing people. I can’t act like the world is going to end when I say no. In some ways, by BEING crushed, I make people feel more disappointed in me. Does that make sense?
I watch my friend say no all the time. He does it in such a non-emotional way that people don’t even think twice about it. Cool. No biggie. Move on. Maybe by getting emotional about it, I make others feel things they shouldn’t. What advice do you have for me? Books to read, therapists to talk to, private islands to escape to... I’ll take it all. How do you cope with letting people down?
I’ve been an emotional hermit for the past couple of days.I am not the hermit type, especially not with my emotions, but a series of run-ins with friends and colleagues had me questioning a lot of things about myself, and about my decisions. I needed to figure out what I was doing right and what I was doing wrong. And I really needed space to think—without noise—to figure all that out. So into the cave I went.
The recurring themes were:
1.my propensity to overschedule myself
2.my inability to deal with disappointing people (in a healthy way)
Singly, these things are not bad. They are good problems to have, in a way. But coupled together, they are a formula for disaster. Which is why my brain tends to go through cycles of feeling how Pig-Pen looks. I’ve been overly busy since I was in middle school. I do it because I need to, not because I love to. I need to... because if I give myself too much downtime, I over-think everything and fall into depression. My brain doesn’t work in idle. It starts eating me alive. And so I learned (at a young age, even) that doing a lot ultimately makes me happier.
BUT I have a hard time disappointing people. It crushes me, you could say. And when you’re busy you have to disappoint people a lot... scheduling things months in advance and sometimes having to say no to things you wish like hell you could do, but you just can’t. Things have been building and I think I’m finally realizing that one of these things has to give.
My gut tells me that I just have to get better at disappointing people. I can’t act like the world is going to end when I say no. In some ways, by BEING crushed, I make people feel more disappointed in me. Does that make sense?
I watch my friend say no all the time. He does it in such a non-emotional way that people don’t even think twice about it. Cool. No biggie. Move on. Maybe by getting emotional about it, I make others feel things they shouldn’t. What advice do you have for me? Books to read, therapists to talk to, private islands to escape to... I’ll take it all. How do you cope with letting people down?
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